So here is a 60-second blog on the burning of Rome

I just wailed a Chuckit ball like it was my little bitch while I attempted Kundalini yoga and a 10X Kettlebell workout.

I am not in shape. Because I have a puppy.

We had a puppy play date with his buds so he could wrastle in the mud. He shakes mud on me. I am mud. My house is mud.

He sleeps now. I do not sleep now. Because I have a puppy.

He hates it when I write. He doesn’t care about my dreams to be a successful author. …


Sexy shelter in place

The week after I hooked up with Bill went by in a blur as I worked on my thesis non-stop. I also had to put everything on hold with my dominatrix clients Sofia and Ron as I had just two weeks to complete my work. Luckily, my ex agreed to watch the kids while I finished up.

What no one expected was the quarantine lockdown of our state when COVID-19 started making its way through California and the rest of the country. I was so absorbed in my work that I didn’t know what was going on until my ex…


Mistress of memories rekindled

When I got home from the cabin, I opened the door to a stack of bills, a FedEx envelope, and a large box from Sofia. I sighed and scooped them onto the table. The nonstop sex at the hideaway had drained and excited me. But a sense of dread overcame me and I wondered if I’d made a rash decision as the reality of my school deadlines hit me like a ton of bricks. The thesis draft and laptop were right where I’d left them in my rush to Sofia’s beautiful cunt.

God, how would I fit her high octane…


In case you miss it

This is for you bartenders, chefs, or servers who are not just on quarantine but also jonesing like an addict for a good ass-kicking, leg twitching, face plant in a brunch-to close-double shift kinda way.

If you’re quarantining but never worked in hospitality, do yourself a favor and please move on. You’ll probably be offended. This is not a WeWork shared urban enclave. We can’t work from home on zoom. There are no ping pong tables.

We lost our shitshow and we miss it.

We are die-hard masochists. We joyfully go to work to be fucked in one way or…


Don’t panic, we got this

When I was a baby bartender back in 1995, I had the most exhilarating and profitable bar shift of my life. Hurricane Erin was storming towards Florida with a vengeance and everyone along the coast was in a flurry of preparation, panic, and lockdown. I was just a few months into my first bar gig at O’Malley’s Beach Bar when the storm hit.

I had just moved to North Miami from rural PA, so I was already a little shell shocked by the old dudes in banana hammocks and all of the jiggling silicone. And now a hurricane? …


And they both involved Pappy Van Winkle.

For 99 percent of my life, I’m a card-carrying feminist. I get off on RBG’s twitter whilst playing 4 Non Blondes, and I keep a copy of The Feminine Mystique by my bedside.

When I need motivation I chant Gloria Steinem to manifest my best life.

The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off.

I once got pregnant on purpose and immediately had an abortion. Then I threw a not-baby shower just to prove I could.

All that to say that I’m most definitely a badass feminist.

But I’m not perfect. I can’t resist my…


Sofia makes an offer I can’t refuse

Sofia’s idea of a relaxing shower before dinner that night and the following morning were an exercise in sexual opulence. The massive slate shower was walled in glass overlooking a snowy expanse of pine and cedar trees. A wide L-shaped bench glowed with soft lighting as sensual music flowed with the sound of a bubbling indoor waterfall.

“Holy shit,” I whispered, as she slid the robe from my shoulders and gently sat me on the bench for the second time.

I leaned back as she turned on the lower shower jets to massage my legs and back. …


Probably don’t.

With over 25 years of bartending, GM, and ownership experience, I can promise you it’s best to just have some more Jaegar bombs, and don’t open that restaurant.

Trust me, I get it. You’re thinking: How hard can it be? I’ll just brand a cool concept, buy an exposed beam building, hire some chefs, bartenders, and servers. And I’ll be cool like James Franco in The Deuce.

That’s super cute, it really is. And I’m sure you’re a pretty person with some super awesome dreams. But this will be your worst nightmare. It might be easier to have a mental…


Sofia teaches me a lesson

After all the fun I’d had over the past few months with Matt, the younger bartender at work, we sort of settled back into the friend zone. The last time we’d hung out was at the Velvet Room holiday party where we’d gone from being simple fuck buddies to entering the warp zone with the Christmas foursome. So maybe that’s why things settled down.

Or maybe it was because I couldn’t stop thinking about Sofia McAvoy’s silky cunt pulsing around my fingers or the memory of her clit on my tongue. But truthfully, I also missed his gorgeous curved cock…


Can mindful additions overcome our addictions?

A couple of weeks ago one of my regulars came in for snacks and cocktails. I hadn’t seen her for a while and noticed that she was glowing and looked super fit. We got to chatting about it and she said the secret to her success was to “just add carrots”. She explained that diets had never worked for her because she felt she was always depriving herself, so this time around she decided to add some kind of vegetable before every meal or snack.

Her advice to me was: so you want a snicker bar? Great! First, have some…

Becci Hunter

I’m reinventing life after 50; the second half can be the best half! I don’t know how to niche but I have fun writing humor, erotica, and fiction.

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